Accessibility Navigation:

Monologue by Shirley Elizabeth Mays

Mays, Shirley
Hasbini, Majida
Date of Interview: 
Overcoming Obstacles; Relationships with People and Places; Then and Now; Tolerance and Respect
Shirley Mays talks about her relationship with her husband.
Charlotte Narrative and Conversation Collection
Collection Description: 
Majida Hasbini interviews Charlotteans to collect stories for a class project at UNC Charlotte.
Interview Audio: 
SM (Shirley Elizabeth Mays): [Cough] Good morning. My name is Shirley Elizabeth Mays and this story is about the man of my life, my love and my friend, John H. Mays, Jr. I met John several years ago in Kansas City, Missouri. At the time when I met my husband, he was six months in recovery, drug and alcohol. He was trying to pursue the relationship at the time with me, but I wasn't interested. Um, I was always the type of lady that I just didn't want to be interested in anyone that had anything to do with drugs and alcohol at that time. So, I decided [cough] to give him a chance to prove to me that he was willing to continue his change and to better himself. So, we then began to pursue the relationship. During that time, he was a senior in college at a Jesuit college in Kansas City, Missouri, where he maintained a 4.0 average, or a 3.8 average. He dropped out of college his senior year, uh, from drugs and alcohol, uh, during our relationship. After about a year into the relationship he proposed to me in marriage. I accepted. He asked me in front of my son, could he take my hand in marriage. I didn't like the way he proposed to me because I always believed that he would get on his knees and propose to me, but it was kind of silly, but I accepted nevertheless. Um, after a year of marriage, I talked my husband into going back to college. He received his bachelor's degree from the same college that he started out in, Rockhurst College in Kansas City, Missouri. After a year in marriage again, we moved to Charlotte, stayed in a little apartment for about a year, then we had a house built two years later. We moved into our home and I said to my husband, "Honey I want you to go back to college. Since your job is paying 100 percent, I think you should go back to college to further pursue your education." He went back to college and got his master's degree, uh, June of 2000 as well as my son getting his high school diploma in June of 2000 so, I had two men that was graduating that year. I have a son that I am very proud of, that's in, uh, the military at present time stationed at Fort Hood, Texas. And I keep in contact with him periodically. Some time ago, John and I thought that we wanted to adopt, and he came to a decision, "Well, I don't think we should adopt because we need to pursue our relationship further and start traveling, do things. Take care of financial situations, so we can be able to travel." So I agreed, on whatever that he wanted to do, in the relationship, and this is the end of the man in my life.