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Interview with Le Anne Watkins

Interviewee: 
Watkins, Le Anne
Interviewer: 
Hudock, Lauren
Date of Interview: 
2003-04-28
Identifier: 
LGWA0289
Subjects: 
Overcoming obstacles; Relationships with people and places
Abstract: 
Le Anne Watkins gives her opinions on her personal relationships.
Collection: 
Charlotte Narrative and Conversation Collection
Collection Description: 
Lauren Hudock interviews Charlotteans to collect stories for a class project at UNC Charlotte.
Interview Audio: 
Transcript:
LH (Lauren Hudock) : Hey how are you doing?
LW (Le Anne Watkins) : I'm doing fine how are you doing?
LH: Good, what's your name?
LW: Le Anne Watkins.
LH: OK, how long have you lived in Charlotte?
LW: My whole life.
LH: OK, where are you from?
LW: I'm from Harrisburg.
LH: OK, do you have a story to tell me this evening?
LW: Yes I do.
LH: OK, go ahead sweetie.
LW: OK, what I can't understand as in a relationship I'm that person that will give my all and do anything. For some reason relationships are all games. Like, you have to play a game to have a relationship. You can't be that person to give your all, you have to play the whole chase, but as friends, I have a lot of guy friends, and then it comes to where as you seem like, "You're cool to hangout with," "You're beautiful," "You're hot," "I want to marry you." And you can play those games to work because you don't want those guys, and then they want you, but as in relationships when you don't want to play games and you want to give your all, then you just get fucked over and you get burnt. And I can't understand this, if I could just treat a relationship as one of my friends that I can just ignore and play off, then they want you, but if it's not that game then you're just screwed. Fate gives you destiny, you can make your own destiny, fate gives you so many signs and you can choose to go after it, you can take a risk and live life, or you can be some kind of turtle and just live in your shell. Um, what I've experienced tonight is, I've had several friends, one that I've had a crush on that wants to tell me how beautiful I am and how they want to be with me, but they have a girlfriend, and that always seems to be the case. Good guys are always taken, but they don't want to take advantage of you because they're that good guy, they don't want to cheat on their girlfriend and they'll let you know up front, and you wonder, "Hey, where the fuck can I find one of these guys? Where can I find someone that's loyal?" Whereas, you find somebody that's single and you go out of your way and sometimes overboard and they want to dog you to their friends, but then in the meantime while they're dogging you to their friends and their friends are dogging you, their friends are tying to hookup with you. And you try and tell them and they're just fuckheads. They're losers. But anyways, I just need to find a good guy. Girls, you know, sometimes they're trifling. Not like every girl. More, I can hang out with the guys, relate to guys a little better because I'm a "jeans and t-shirt" kind of girl, I can dress them up, I can dress them down. So, I just, I'm screwed, I can give great advice to other people and their relationships, but as far as mine, I'm just screwed. I might be a little intoxicated right now, but, yeah.
LH: And why do you feel like you can give this great relationship advice, but guys that try and to approach you to date you don't really mean it?
LW: Because from being there from experience, I can give the advice but as far as learning my own lessons, I'm stubborn and hardheaded. I'd rather do my own thing, and as far as guys, as long as they're friends and you can push them away and just be their friend and ignore them, they want you even more. But as far as someone that you like, instead of playing the games, you want to show them how you feel and go out of your way to show them how much you care. Then they realize they have you and they just want that challenge, they want something they can chase not something they can have.
LH: And have you experienced this personally?
LW: Yes, very much so. Soon as I got out of high school I was engaged, third time he cheated on me I couldn't forgive him because he got the girl pregnant. If he wouldn't had got her pregnant I probably would have forgiven him another time, which I would have been another dumbass. Left that relationship, got into another bad relationship where this guy was just Casanova, promised me the world, when in reality he had a girlfriend and kept going back and forth to that person. And now, I've remained single for quite a while, trying to find that good guy. I found someone that lives twelve hundred miles away in New York, he's wanting to marry me, and it's the sweetest guy I've ever met and can't believe that he's with me, but it all seems too good to be true, so I second guess myself and it scares the shit out of me 'cause I want to find another badass who's going to break my heart and hurt me. Because finding that person that I want is too good to be true, it's just too scary because I'm used to being burnt.
LH: And why do you feel like this guy in New York is going to be better for you?
LW: Because, he's that person that respects me and adores the things that I do, no matter how overboard or how out of my way that I go, but the thing that's so scary is that he does appreciate the things I do. Because I'm used to the assholes, I'm used to the guys that don't appreciate me and want to dog the shit out of me. And, because this guy loves me so much and is wanting to marry me in six months, and it's so good to be true and can't believe that he's with me, that he's the lucky one and for once in my life I'm not the one that's supposed to be lucky because I'm with this asshole, just scares the shit out of me and it just scares me because it seems too good to be true that he wants to be with me.
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